Peer mediation from the pupils’ view

A group of peer mediators at Hjortespring Skole has received tools for conflict resolution so that they can help their younger school friends solving conflicts. The peer mediators take care of a lot of the conflicts that arise in the every day life between pupils from 0th to 5th grade. The result is development of valuable social competences for both the peer mediators and for those who get the help.

At Hjortespring Skole there are approximately 30 peer mediators who have attended a 16 hour course about conflict resolution. At the course, they have received introduction to the conflict staircase and to the mediation rules. Hereafter, it is the task of the mediators to guide the pupils from the lowest grades in solving disagreements and conflicts.

Fixed break watches
The peer mediators have fixed break watches where they because of caps and t-shirts are easy to find for the other children. Three of the mediators are named Johanne, Milad and San, and they have had positive and instructive experiences as peer mediators.

- It is cool to be a mediator, as you participate in solving other people’s small problems, says Milad.

- I think it is great to help other people and watch them become happy again, says Johanne.

The basic rules of mediation are that both parties must have the wish to solve the problem, both parties must be allowed to talk and must remember to listen when the other party is talking. The mediators are not allowed to come up with suggestions of solution; the conflicting parties must come up with the solutions themselves.

- If one does not remember the rules for mediation by heart, this can result in a bad mediation. If the mediation has been bad, the conflict continues, says Milad.

Lack of conflicts is good but a little bit boring
The peer mediators take shift in being together with the youngest pupils during the breaks and they normally go together in pairs. Some conflicts are solved immediately in the school yard while other and bigger conflicts are solved in the mediation room that has been made available for the pupils. But conflicts are not arising all the time, so sometimes the mediators are “unemployed”.

- It can be boring when there are no conflicts. Some time ago, we went out and advertised for ourselves so that everybody knew that we can be used in case of conflicts and that helped a little. Actually, I believe that people are well here at this school. When there are no conflicts, it is good for the children and bad for us. If this is changed, it is good for us, but bad for the children, says San.

- If there are no conflicts, we are just keeping an eye on the young ones. Then we might be able to stop the conflicts before they escalate to the top of the conflict staircase, and that is when they get violent, says Milad.

- Sometimes we are not in great demand, but when we are in demand it is good to see that it works, says Johanne.

Mediators are role models
Being a mediator, it is also important that the person behaves nicely in his or her spare time. 

- In my spare time I still think of the fact that I am a mediator and that I have to be a good example to the young ones. Being a mediator you have to be very careful about what you do yourself. For instance, if I was teasing the others, they would think that it was very bad of me, says Milad. 

The mediators learn and experience the importance of sympathetic understanding and responsibility. At the same time, they need to be impartial.

- It is necessary to find the feelings and needs of the conflicting parties, and I think that it is only natural to ask them how they feel. You can ask “How do you feel about...?” says Johanne.

- When they have small conflicts it reminds me of when I was little. As a young person, one believes that it is important to be heard. Therefore, one has to remember to be fair and neutral and to avoid that one party feels that the mediator is on the other party’s side, says Milad.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to separate serious conflicts from something that is more about making fun.

- If we repeatedly need to take care of the same pupils in the school yard, we recommend them to enter mediation. But we have to be very careful as sometimes it is just for fun and we do not want to spoil a good game, says Milad. 

Small and large conflicts
The peer mediators experience many types of conflicts. Some are banal and easy to solve while others require a walk to the mediation room preferably together with a teacher who can either be there as support or participate actively in the mediation.

- Disagreements can be physical or mental. The mental ones are a lot worse and it is much more difficult to mediate in these conflicts, says Milad.

It is within the political and ethical policy of Hjortespring Skole that bullying must be handled by adults. In case of bullying or immense conflicts, the peer mediators address one of the contact teachers of the mediator group or the class teacher so that the adults can take over.

- If bullying is happening, and it goes on and on and on, it can be difficult to mediate as the mediation must be a wish of both parties, says Milad.

Need of overview
Among other things, the mediators must be able to estimate when a situation requires adult interference. They must remember the rules of mediation and sometimes they can be confronted with being mediators in a situation they had not quite expected.

- If somebody is fighting and they are not to be stopped, then we have to get a teacher on playground duty, says San.

- If they continue even after having been in mediation, it can be tiresome. And also if some of the young ones think that it is fun to be in mediation. Then the class teacher has to help us and talk to them, says Milad.

The peer mediators only mediate among pupils from the lower grades as it would be a problem if the conflicting parties were at the same age or older than the mediators themselves.

- You cannot be 10 years old and mediate with a 14-year-old; then they would only think “what are you up to, you little punk”. It can also be difficult to mediate in 5th and 6th grade as they want to solve the problems themselves, says Milad.

See also

• Clip from the documentary film "The Peer Mediators" 
• Hjortespring Skole