Conflict mediation – an alternative to sanctions

At Højmarksskolen and Østre Skole social pedagogues are employed to help pupils and teachers in difficult conflict situations. Their efforts have contributed to the fact that the schools have started changing their attitudes towards conflict resolution and the schools have obtained more methods of how to handle problematic pupils.

When children and pupils have conflicts in the school, it is often the teachers or the management who deal with it. This is also the case at Højmarksskolen and Østre Skole, but as both schools have employed social pedagogues to handle conflicts and perform preventive work by preparation of the pupils’ attitudes, the number of cases where the school management must be involved have decreased. The social pedagogues have been trained as conflict mediators. 

- We have the whole school as our work place, says Carsten Krog who is Social Pedagogue and Conflict Mediator at Østre Skole.

- The pupils know us and we know them. We have the possibility to prevent conflicts by working with their attitudes and we can enter into action very quickly if it is necessary. Flexibility is our trademark, he says.

Collaboration with the teacher
The social pedagogues and the teachers have a really good collaboration. There are also teachers at the school who works as mediators, but the social pedagogues’ efforts means that the single teacher is no longer alone with a conflict or a problem that needs to be solved before teaching can begin. With the social pedagogue as mediator, an impartial third party enters with time and tools to solve the conflict.

- The teachers can be too close to the pupils to work as mediators because they know too much and are too involved to be able to remain neutral. What can happen if the teachers enter the conflict resolution is that the pupils meet a representative of the rules and they are used to that. However, conflict resolution always happens in close collaboration with the teachers/recreation centre pedagogues in order to find the right tools for the given situation, says Carsten Krog. 

The mediation itself
The purpose of conflict mediation is that the conflict is solved by the parties entering peace agreements themselves. All cases and all conflicts are different, and therefore it is necessary for the mediator to estimate and plan the course of the mediation specifically in relation to the single case and its parties.

- Before the mediation the mediator is having some reflections about who should be involved in the mediation, and how the parties should be contacted. Then a pre-meeting is held where the mediator meets with each party separately in order to inform about the purpose and method of the mediation. This often develops into a long conversation about the problem, says Lise Jensen who is Social Pedagogue and Conflict Mediator at Højmarksskolen.

The mediation itself is a personal meeting between the parties where the purpose is to make the parties understand and appreciate each other’s feelings and needs.

- The parties meet at a neutral place for a long talk where some of the key words in both parties’ version of the story are brought up. The conflict can only be solved if both parties are interested in this and if this is the case things are discussed very thoroughly. In the every day life, I can follow-up on the development between the parties and I see no need for written agreements. If I mediate outside the school, a written agreement is made in the end, which is signed by both parties, says Lise Jensen.

The attitude behind
Mediation rejects sanctions and moralizing and this creates a different frame of the conflict resolution that the pupils may have been used to. The pupils must trust that what they say will be respected and they must feel that they themselves have the responsibility of the course of the mediation.

- The pupils learn something from being allowed to be taken seriously. They find out that there is an alternative to conflict behaviour and violence, says Carsten Krog. 

- At the schools, we continuously work with preparation of attitudes as it is important that the pupils learn how to relate to each other and how to avoid for instance bullying in the class, he says.

At Østre Skole, work with preparation of attitudes is going on within 3rd, 5th and 7th grade, while at Højmarksskolen a special effort if being done from 0th to 4th grade. At both schools, the social pedagogues are ready to enter the classes when ever it is needed.

A broader perspective
Conflict mediation is not only about bullying and conflicts in school, it is also about prevention of crime in the local community. Therefore, the conflict mediators are also ready to take care of conflicts arisen outside school hours. They are especially aware of the 12 to 15 year olds – just below the age of criminal responsibility.

- In the situation where the pupil is heard without being scolded, issues can be brought out which can lead to he or she getting help. For instance, they might spot a side of themselves which needs to be fought but they are the ones taking the decision to do so, says Lise Jensen.

Mediators have a great ethical responsibility and if a mediator for some reason does not feel comfortable with a given mediation, he or she should refuse to take it.  This could be if the mediator knows one of the parties too well or if the mediator does not feel that an equal space can be created for both parties. The pupils as well always have the possibility of leaving a given mediation.

Ethical dilemmas
Sometimes mediators are in ethical dilemmas. Voluntariness in mediation is a core dilemma. There is very narrow borderline between voluntariness and voluntary force as sometimes it can be necessary for the adult to push the process ahead.

- It can be necessary to involve an adult in order to make it clear to the pupils that mediation is something they want. Most pupils do not know what mediation is or how they can benefit from it. When we explain to them what it is about, they are normally very positive. Once the pupils are in the mediation, they learn that they are heard and that they are not there to be scolded. They get a positive experience, says Lise Jensen.

Confidence is another core dilemma. In general, a mediator should not follow-up on what he or she has heard during mediation but this can be very difficult if what is heard demands action.

- This could be if it is brought out that one of the parties is considering making harm to him- or herself or others. Here the mediator has be possibility to stop the mediation and continue talking with the one party alone. Afterwards, a strategy of how to get help can be made in collaboration, says Lise Jensen.